One more bit of horrible news from this summer’s record-setting heat: The stink bug population is on the rise.

Earlier today we told you some of the effects of this unseasonable warm spell. But one other, more unseemly upshot of this weather is burrowing up from the ground: Stink bugs. Gross.

Because, for some sick reason, we’re unable to turn away from the story of competitive eater Joey Chestnut downing two gallons of Ben’s Chili Bowl chili over the weekend, here’s video of an interview with Mr. Chestnut after he won.

Hey, I’m a man of my word. Also, I may have just thrown up a little bit. Who’s up for lunch?

In what is easily the clubhouse leader for the story most representative of the fact that today is a Friday before a long weekend, the Post’s Paul Farhi confirms that the disgusting sea foam which covered WTTG meterologist Tucker Barnes last weekend and spawned an internet sensation was, in fact, not toxic.

If there’s a complaint about Metro, chances are we’ve heard it. But we have to admit that The Examiner has uncovered a new one — pigeon turds which have coated a Metro bus garage in Virginia.

The female competitive eaters are so much better in Alexandria: Sonya “The Black Widow” Thomas defeated all comers yesterday in the newly-formed Nathan’s Famous Women’s Hot Dog Eating World Championship, earning herself the handsome trophy and a pink belt.

A Metro rider found human feces smeared across the pedestrian bridge inside the Franconia-Springfield station on Monday — but one of several reports of dookie inside Virginia transit stations — and reported it to the station manager, who said it wasn’t Metro’s problem because the poopy stairs are the property of Virginia Railway Express.

Are you ready to be grossed out? I mean, really ready? Good, because this report by Kytja Weir will certainly do the trick. Turns out that Metro employees aren’t only using pocket tracks to relieve themselves during their shifts — some have even taken to urinating and defecating inside trains and buses.

Unlike the tipsters at mass transit whistle-blowing blog Unsuck DC Metro, DCist’s tipsters didn’t spend the New Year’s weekend sifting through a recent inspector general’s report. Bunch of slackers, the whole lot of you! (I kid, I kid — we love you all.) It’s a shame, though, since this revelation would have made for some interesting conversation over brunch this weekend.