Gothamist learned about the craziest urban nightmare come true: A huge python found in the bathroom pipes. It was also a nightmare for some Yankees fans, as manger Joe Torre declined to come back and manage the Bronx Bombers. At least the city’s attempt to give some direction to subway riders was interesting, pranksters went shirtless at the Fifth Avenue Abercrombie & Fitch and the I Heart Brooklyn Girls calendars came out. And just…

The Ponys play the Black Cat Backstage tonight with Jay Reatard. $10, Doors at 9 p.m. The Ponys are one of those buzz bands that seem perennially plagued with the “next big thing” tag. Hailing from Chicago, a city full of legends of all sorts and more than a few hype-worthy up-and-comers, theirs is a difficult task. But 2006’s Turn the Lights Out picked up where Celebration Castle left off and took it one step…

FRIDAY: >> RJD2 is not to be confused with the new R2D2 mailboxes unvelied this month. His turntable skills, however, have us wondering if he’s part robot. At the 9:30 Club, $20. >> Native sons The Walkmen, who we talked to last spring, bring their boozey, jangley rock, to the Rock & Roll Hotel tonight. Fans can look forward to hearing lots of new material that the band’s been road-testing this spring. If you liked…