All Stories
“I have to get off that horse now before I end up lost in the desert of despair.”
“When I turned 27, I realized, ‘Woah, I’ve got to check myself before I wreck myself.’”
“I’m deep in Navy Yard. I’m basically in Virginia.”
“I’ve got emotions, and Taylor Swift is the happy emotion.”
“It’s a funeral. Don’t wear shorts.”
“Well, there are a lot easier ways to embezzle money.”
“Largo? That’s Spanish for large.”
“Wait, someone’s driving this? I thought these were automatic.”
“That was several years ago, back when I was still interesting.”
“It’s like, he lost his Pokémon cards in the divorce.”
