While SFist cringed at the fatal dose of crime littering the Bay Area, it found solace in Hillary Clinton’s San Francisco campaign headquarters opening, which featured loads of exposed mammary glands. In other news, SF Taxi Commission ruled that Satan’s cab must keep its (in)famous medallion number, 666; and in an un-fashion-forward frenzy, San Francisco Fashion Week (chortle) bars bloggers from covering and getting smashed at their shows and parties, respectively. Also, they found a…

If you’re anything like this writer, the last big election returns “party” you went to turned into a vast pit of sorrow and despair you’d like not to repeat. Or maybe you joyously tossed balloons and toasted champagne at your party’s continuing reign. Either way, the fate of the next two years of our country is being decided and you need a place to go tonight to watch, with trepidation and a beer, as the…