If you’ve noticed a few extra helicopters buzzing above D.C. in recent days, it’s not because of any stepped-up police or military presence, though some of those choppers are flying pretty low to the ground.

What, you thought that the U.S. government was happy to simply deprive Washington of Congressional representation and be done with it? Ha! A pair of stories released recently indicate that the government is waging a secret war on the District, one in which isolated episodes of ineptitude appear to be the weapon of choice. Bum-bum-bum!