Perhaps because so many of the petitions that recently reached the threshold for an official response are unbelievably stupid, the White House said yesterday evening that it is raising the bar on its “We the People” site to 100,000.

The White House made good on its pledge to respond to the secession petitions that reached the requisite number of signatures on its “We the People” site, and said that no one will be allowed to secede this time.

As inane as calls to break up the union might sound, the White House plans to issue a response to the hundreds of thousands of citizens who have affixed their names to petitions calling for the secession of their states.

It hasn’t even been a week since the election, and already Americans in 20 states have decided they’ve had enough with the grand experiment in democracy that is these United States.

UPDATE (5:45 p.m.): Justin Jacoby Smith, a member of the Occupy D.C. media team, has responded to DCist, saying, “at this point, we don’t have any formal plans and nothing in the works,” in regards to secession. Smith confirms that the document in question is a “declaration of grievances, a list of things we are worried about,” and is currently being drafted by a declaration committee.