Former Redskins running back Clinton Portis—and his many infamous alter egos—will announce his retirement from pro football this week.

Southeast Jerome. Sheriff Gonna Getcha. Coach Janky Spanky. The Ghost of Southeast Jerome. Most of the 2005 season, and a few times last year, Clinton Portis showed that he wasn’t only electric on the field by holding press conferences dressed up as ridiculous characters, who he named and gave purposes. The get ups were such a hit that they even made a t-shirt about them (hey, we all knew that Snyder wouldn’t let a chance…

Apparently everyone in heaven has a funny name (we’re pumping our fist in celebration, as are the Dick Trickles of the world). The Angel of Southeast Jerome came to visit from heaven with oddly named angels: Pretty Teeth, Sweetfeet Jenkins, Luscious, Pied-Piper Piccolo, Johnny Whiteguy, and Biggie Short. As usual, Clinton Portis arrived at his Thursday News Conference dressed in absurd garb. Unusually, he brought five of his teammates with him. Throughout this town, there…