Last night the Hershey Bears lost the decisive fifth game of the Calder Cup Finals to the Hamilton Bulldogs. The Bulldogs will now get raises and promotions to the NHL, while the Bears will go home to dark, empty apartments and watch nature shows, searching for an equally absurd example of an obnoxious housepet dominating a bear. Actually, losing in the finals is a perfectly acceptable outcome from the Capitals’ standpoint. Their young players got…

On Friday night The Hershey Bears were torn apart by Bulldogs in an embarrassing 3-0 home loss in game one of the Calder Cup Finals. After putting on a convincing impression of “the big bad wolf” in the Eastern Conference Finals, the Bears got burned at the beginning of the big dance by reclusive nineteen year old named Carey. Of course, the night’s events did not warp into a Stephen King novel. The Bears faced…

In a best of seven playoff series, any team with a 3-1 lead has distinct advantage. This is entirely false when that team is the Washington Capitals, and it holds that slim advantage over the Pittsburgh Penguins. The Capitals blew 3-1 leads against the Penguins in 1992 and 1995, and blew a 2-0 lead to the Penguins in 1996. Since this season’s Hershey Bears are one-third composed of players from this season’s Washington Capitals, they…

Last week we reported that seven guys who played for the Capitals this year are now tearing up the American Hockey League playoffs with the Hershey Bears. Over the weekend, the Bears beat the evil Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penguins two more times, taking a 3-0 lead in the best of seven East Division Final series. The Bears weren’t the only Capitals beating up on less talented players, though. Alex Ovechkin spends his summer vacations playing in the…

What’s that, reader? You thought the hockey season had come to a merciful end? You thought that Caps players like Mike Green, Jeff Schultz, Jakub Klepis, Eric Fehr, Alexandre Giroux, Dave Steckel and Frederic Cassivi had shown they belong in the minor leagues, and would now spend the summer playing golf and healing unspecified injuries? Well, smartypants, you got the first part right. All those Caps players do belong in the minor leagues, and…