Apparently nobody in D.C. is working right now.

What to get the person in your life who’s sick of This Town? Well, here are some suggestions.

Journalist Josh Rogin says Dan Nainan punched him over tweets critical of the comedian’s standup. Nainan denies Rogin’s version of events.

The Georgetown home also features a bathroom with framed dictation from Richard Nixon that mentions Quinn, dining room wallpaper covered in a variety of birds (but no duplicates, natch), and a New Yorker cover of the home.

Guess how much we care this year.

This town. This author. That book.

It’s for the best that Mark Leibovich doesn’t say much about the non-federal side of the city. After all, Tammy Haddad, Mike Allen, and all those other characters are best kept in “Washington,” and away from D.C.

The New York Times just can’t resist taking a dig at D.C.’s food scene. And it’s never been more wrong.