A new website focused on breakfast is hiring a bacon critic.

The officer in question is an employee of the Secret Service, according to a statement from the agency.

Seriously, just stop it. You’re killing us.

Chef and restaurateur José Andrés has done a lot, and he can now add making Time’s 100 Most Influential People in the World list.

Believe it or not, we’ll all be reverting back to standard time this weekend, eschewing sunlight at the end of the day in exchange for no longer waking up in the dark.

The D.C. time and weather hotline — which, to our surprise, a whole bunch of city residents still cared deeply about despite the advent of the Internet — has finally bit the dust.

UPDATE: Looks like we might have helped to blow the service’s cover — we tried calling the service again later this morning and were greeted by a message stating that Verizon would no longer be maintaining the service. Those of you who still use the service will have to keep your fingers crossed that another organization picks up the contract to keep the hotline alive.

Time’s list of “the most influential people in the world” — which we’re betting is the only list to feature Aung San Suu Kyi, “muckraker” Julian Assange and the guy who designed Angry Birds in equal standing — was released today, and former D.C. Public Schools chancellor Michelle Rhee (who, of course, once graced the magazine’s cover sporting a broom) made the cut.

I remember once as a kid calling the time service over and over, on a bored rainy day. It seemed so funny to me that you could call a number and get the time of day, as if you couldn’t just look at a clock. Well, it turns out you won’t be able to do that, nor get the weather via hotline, anymore.

In a circular plot of land in upper Northwest, the U.S. Naval Observatory has acted as America’s timekeeper for over 150 years. Most people associate the USNO with the Vice President, but Number One Observatory Circle – a house sitting on the grounds, separate from Navy operations – has only been the VP’s official residence since 1974. The real cultural and scientific draw of this institution is its role in using the Sun and stars…