Ever wonder what it would be like if some of the Nationals’ pitching staff read E.L. James’ erotic thriller? Well, your curiosity has been answered.

Our long nightmare is over: The Wizards closed out the 2011-2012 season with a big win over the very tepid Miami Heat. And the Nationals failed to complete a series sweep in San Diego.

Did you miss last night’s All-Star Game? If so, you missed lone Nationals representative Tyler Clippard getting the official win as the National League took down their American League counterparts, 5-1.

Jim Bowden has been a busy man this offseason. Since we last left the Nationals, they have acquired outfielder Elijah Dukes, infielder Aaron Boone, pitcher Tyler Clippard, and catcher Paul Lo Duca. They have also signed outfielder Wily Mo Pena to a one year deal. Betting that he can’t possibly have two horrible years in a row, the Nats have also signed outfielder Ryan “more strikeouts than total bases” Langerhans to a one year deal….