Good morning D.C. Today is turning out to be another near-pristine weekend day for outdoor activities, namely, weddings. Congrats to all of you seeking wedding bliss this afternoon, particularly those of you looking for the perfect day since early March. But perhaps one wedding today will overshadow everyone else’s: the marriage of former first daughter Chelsea Clinton to Marc Mezvinsky in upstate New York. So why not in D.C.? It’s been awhile since we’ve had a presidential wedding ceremony in the district. Luci Johnson was wed at the Shrine of the Immaculate Conception, and Tricia Nixon took full advantage of her father’s presidency by having hers in the White House Rose Garden — oh, and the West Wing’s Bartlet wedding doesn’t count. Regardless, arm yourselves with a bag of rice and maybe you’ll find a bliss-filled couple to target somewhere in town.

>> File this under the outrageous, weird and ‘don’t read this before breakfast’ categories. The Gaithersburg Police Department arrested Michael Wayne Edwards Jr. Wednesday after witnesses saw him spray a liquid on a woman’s back as she was leaving a Giant grocery on Muddy Branch Road. The liquid was determined to be Edwards’ semen. Edwards faces a second-degree assault charge and possibly more after police learned that there could be more unidentified victims. Adding to the infuriating nature of the crime, 29 percent of NBC4’s poll are “laughing” over the incident.

>> A Rhode Island man was sentenced in U.S. District court Friday to 70 months in prison after trying to smuggle $500,000 worth of heroin through Dulles International Airport in juice boxes. The arrest occured in Decemeber as Emmanuel Rios was flying from Guatemala to Dulles. A routine border inspection found heroin pellets packed into two dozen juice boxes. Next time, try Capri Sun.