On the penthouse rooftop of the Vida Fitness Center on U Street, a bunch of bros are hanging out with their shirts off.

Specifically, thirteen or fourteen gentleman are lounging around the posh rooftop, shirtless getting ready for their close-up. They’re all there because someone they know probably played a cruel joke and entered them into Inside Edition’s “D.C.’s Hottest Bachelors” contest.

Of course, it’s not like they were forced against their will to enter the contest. Most of the contestants that I talked to, while at first seemed bit reluctant about being apart of this contest, weren’t too shy about ripping their shirts off and pounding out a dozen or so push-ups. Indeed, the scene on the rooftop for Inside Edition’s “D.C.’s Hottest Bachelors” was about as comical as you can imagine, especially given that one of those contestants is WUSA9 investigative reporter and Washington City Paper cover story subject Russ Ptacek.

During the photo shoot, DCist talked to a handful of the contestants, asking them important things like “How did you get signed up for this?” “What separates you from other contestants?” and “Bro, do u even lift?” Just so you can get an idea of the people who are competing to be “D.C.’s Hottest Bachelor.” Mind you, this competition results in no monetary reward. Just that tagline you can put in your OK Cupid profile, or whatever.

Who: Russ Ptacek

Age: 50

Occupation: Investigative Reporter for WUSA9

How Did You Get Signed Up For This?
“Someone suggested it, and I polled my Facebook followers to see if I should do it. There was one guy who said ‘Your nipples look weird and that’s not why I joined your Facebook fan page, so I’m quitting as of right now.'”

Have Your Ever Done Anything Like This Before?
“I was the awkward kid in junior high, I was the awkward adult. It wasn’t until I got white hair that people started to say ‘You look good for 50!’ So yes, this is absolutely the first time that I’ve done anything close to this.”

Bro, Do U Even Lift?
“I worry a lot, I’m a worrywart. So one of the things I do that’s like my self-medicating, is I get to the gym a lot, and run about twelve miles a week.”

Who: Max Major

Age: 29

Occupation: Magician

How Did You Get Signed Up For This?
“My friends signed me up.”

Have Your Ever Done Anything Like This Before?
“I was on a very trashy reality show called Love Games on the Oxygen Network. It was a dating reality show that was like Jersey Shore mixed with The Bachelorette, mixed with Big Brother. So this is actually more glamorous than the television I’ve done in the past.”

Bro, Do U Even Lift?
“Diet is the most important thing. Diet is more important than exercise.”

Who: Wil Lash

Age: 38

Occupation: Corporate Recruiter by day and host of D.C. Hot Spots by night. He’s also an actor in the web series Anacostia.

How Did You Get Signed Up For This?

“I had a friend who submitted me for it, I think she was going to submit her ex-boyfriend, but decided he wasn’t worth it.”

Have Your Ever Done Anything Like This Before?

“I did a reality TV show called I Love New York a while back. It was kind of a reality dating show.”

Bro, Do U Even Lift?

“Yes, I work out.”

Who: Lawrence Sidbury

Age: 27

Occupation: Linebacker for the Indianapolis Colts (Is on injured reserve, lives full-time in Fort Washington)

How Did You Get Signed Up For This?

“My agent made me do it.”

Have Your Ever Done Anything Like This Before?

“No.”

Bro, Do U Even Lift?

“I play professional football.”

Who will be crowned “D.C.’s Hottest Bachelor?”