Well, Halloween is almost upon us. Personally, this holiday is one of DCist’s favorites; the city is able to shed its year-long repression, rip off the Banana Republic shirt, and get down and dirty. Or at least get drunk while wearing a Clinton mask. Plus, living in the political center of the world leads to some truly inspired (and/or offensive) costumes. At a loss for how to disguise yourself during your trick-or-treat outings? DCist suggests the following:

-Teresa Heinz-Kerry (wear a tweed suit, a bushy brown wig, and carry a martini in one hand and a bottle of ketchup in the other)
-Your favorite metrobus line of choice (but be sure to have an “Out of Service” sign)
-The 380 tons of missing explosives
-A purple heart
-Want a couple-friendly costume? Why not go as a Metro police officer and a pregnant lady? Just make sure that the officer regularly throws the pregnant lady to the ground.

What are you dressing up as, dear DCist readers? Personally, we’re going as an exhausted, hallucinating Marine Corps Marathon runner.

Loads and loads of crazy Halloween events for you to attend behind the cut.