In Roman mythology, Mercury is the god of commerce; here in the District, he seems to be the god of school closures. And he’s back — yes, for the third time in two weeks, Cardozo High School on 13th St. NW above U is the scene of a mercury spillage.

At this point it would seem almost plausible that Cardozo was built on a natural mercury spring, or excretes it as a natural byproduct. In fact, Post columnist Courtland Milloy made a similar observation in yesterday’s edition, hanging his thesis on this quote:

“It’s possible that it’s nothing but a prank, but also possible that it’s more emblematic of a larger problem that the city’s high schools are having, ” said Michael Casserly, executive director of the Council of the Great City Schools. “Who knows what the motive and thinking of the individuals involved in the spill might be? But it’s impossible for me to think that students haven’t noticed the quality of education they are receiving and the conditions of the buildings where they are expected to learn and are not frustrated by what they see.”

Well, whatever you need to hold a column together (though if this is the logic our local education officials are working with, perhaps they should consider that as a contributing factor to the low quality of District schools). The caravan of police, fire, hazmat trucks and satellite vans arrived sometime around mid-afternoon and shut off the adjoining streets, as is now a familiar sight in this neighborhood. This being a Sunday, it seems likely this was just leftover from previous spillages. Then again, D.C. schools and EPA officials can’t agree how it happened the second time.

Since Cardozo has been working so hard to make up for the alarmingly low rates of mercury contamination in our fair city’s public schools as of late, it has become increasingly difficult to come up with puns that don’t involve the Ford Motor Company. We’ll put off that eventuality for now and leave you with the above visual image, one that surely will rock you.