Episode III: In a burger joint far far away…..

Almost like Hebrew National hot dogs, Elevation Burger seems to have descended from above, promising the people of Falls Church a burger of a higher standard. Owner Hans Hess is as obsessed with beef and buns as should be expected from a man attempting to create the next great burger Mecca, but do his patties deliver salvation? Elevation Burger uses organic beef and cooks its fries in olive oil, taking at least part of the guilt out of your burger experience. Polishing off a Big Phat Burger with a side of fries is filling, but you’ll likely leave with a bit less of that disgustipated feeling you get after pounding a Wendy’s double with cheese and bacon.

Perhaps it’s the tray insert touting the powers of healthy organic beef that clears our conscience. Boasting Omega-3s and completely lacking hormones, pesticides, and antibiotics, this grass-fed goodness might even help you lose weight! If organic is still too cruel, or if you’re otherwise beef-averse, two veggie burgers grace the menu. Veggie Patty #1 and Veggie Patty #2 (one’s even vegan) are thoughtfully cooked far away from the greasy flat grill that turns out what could arguably one of the tastiest burgers in the area’s fast-food firmament.