Apparently everyone in heaven has a funny name (we’re pumping our fist in celebration, as are the Dick Trickles of the world). The Angel of Southeast Jerome came to visit from heaven with oddly named angels: Pretty Teeth, Sweetfeet Jenkins, Luscious, Pied-Piper Piccolo, Johnny Whiteguy, and Biggie Short.

As usual, Clinton Portis arrived at his Thursday News Conference dressed in absurd garb. Unusually, he brought five of his teammates with him.

Throughout this town, there has been talk that Mr. Portis is losing his mind. I mean the glasses, goofy costumes, but most absurdly, his ability to stay on topic: rushing, winning games. When asked about potentially breaking the franchise rushing record, he paused from his character and expressed excitement at the prospect. A bigger ego might have stayed in character or cracked a joke. He did the same when speaking about Philly and also wound it into the story, saying “This is how we get down in heaven, so hopefully Philly don’t turn this into hell.”

Without a doubt he is focused and the presence of his teammates shows how serious this thing is getting – not the costumes, but the season. It is also one of most harmless ways a stressed player could relax, in a season tainted by naval exhibitions or inexplicable attacks on former teammates. I myself would like to see more costumes beginning with an insurgency of Hogettes.

As for Portis, we’re impressed. He started out crazy and ended up looking lightheartedly silly. This almost makes up for the Eastern Motors videos, “Where your job is your credit.”

Picture taken from clintonportis.com.