We may have missed the Miss America Pageant on Saturday night, but that doesn’t mean we’re unaware of the contest’s results. While Miss Oklahoma took home top honors, we’re proud to say that Miss District of Columbia did the city proud, placing fifth in the contest. But even better than that, Miss District of Columbia (whose sash was by the far the contest’s longest), Shannon Schambeau, took home the ever-important Lifestyle and Fitness in Swimsuit Award.

To be perfectly honest, we had no idea there was a Miss District of Columbia. What with those decades of disenfranchisement from the democratic process, we’re surprised that the Miss America folks were willing to include us in a contest reserved for those know-it-all states.

Even more than that, though, we’re somewhat confused as to Miss D.C.’s background. Searching around the Miss America website doesn’t yield a whole lot of anything on our city’s representative, other than the fact that she’s currently employed at Special Olympics and spent the better part of the recent years obtaining her BA and MA at Saint Leo University — which is in Florida. The Miss District of Columbia site isn’t much more enlightening — Shannon was born in 1981, we find, but we don’t find out where. Our guess is not in the District. She attended Pasco High School, which, Google tells us, is in Florida.

Worst of all are some of her answers to the pageant’s hard-hitting 20 questions. Our two favorites:

Q: What’s is your hometown like?
A: My hometown is center stage for our nation’s most influential leaders. It is home to the President, over 150 embassies, and a diverse group of citizens. Washington, DC is a family-oriented atmosphere. It preserves our nation’s history and strives for a more promising future.

Q: What makes your state so special?
A: The District of Columbia is our nation’s capital. The home to the President and many other influential leaders of today.

Makes you feel proud to live in the District, doesn’t it?

Update: Hey, look at us feeling all important for noticing these things. It seems that the Post’s Reliable Source picked up the story last week, and even noted that Shannon had competed in the Miss Florida pageant five years running. This is obviously a scandal. We demand hearings. Maybe an independent investigation. After all, this is D.C., right?