Washington has become all the rage in the Hollywood set; whether they’re trying to establish their public policy bona fides or soak their late husbands for millions of bucks, the beautiful people (and Michael Douglas) have been showering the District with unprecedented favoritism. So I suppose it should come as no surprise that the strangest and most untentionally hilarious of movie star trappings, the Church of Scientology, should be doing a booming Washington business.

So much so, in fact, that the church appears ready to expand beyond its current headquarters in the city. According to the Washington Business Journal, growth in the church, which we presume is due to Tom Cruise’s bizarre ravings and terrifying impregnation of Katie Holmes, has pushed traffic at Fraser Mansion, the current Washington center for the church, beyond what the north Dupont building can handle. Last November, an organization connected to the church purchased a 50,000 square foot building on 16th Street in NW, just north of Scott Circle, which should be a functioning church property by the end of this year. The Journal notes that the acquisition will make D.C. the “third-largest collection of Scientologist facilities in the nation, in terms of square footage, behind Los Angeles and Clearwater, Fla.”

Plans for the new building include a large auditorium and a rooftop cafe. DCist also speculates that the building will house a secure library for the religion’s sacred texts, a silent birthing room, lots of inscrutable shit, and a large vault for money swimming, because good lord that church has a lot of money. And maybe a mind control laser of some sort. We’re just guessing; we’re glib.