The George Mason University Patriots used to have a colonial looking fellow that led the cheers at sporting events, but it was felt that such a diverse school should not have a white male forefather type as a mascot. Instead, Mason decided to recognize its large and growing green muppet population, choosing as its representative the hirsute fellow seen at right. He’s called Gunston, after George Mason’s old home, and he became nationally recognized after the GMU basketball team donned a pair of glass slippers and sashayed into the Final Four. And now Gunston, the poor bastard, is unemployed.

Deadspin directs our attention to a Post story from last Friday, in which it is revealed that all the Big Dance school spirit in the world couldn’t save the ambiguously speciated and gendered fuzz ball from his date with a pink slip. From the Post story:

“We need to develop a mascot with a strong image, more of an immediate connection with George Mason, something our community would be proud to have,” Ruge said. “It would be nice if a freshman could see him and go, ‘Hey, that’s our mascot’ instead of going ‘What’s that?’ “

To be perfectly honest, we didn’t know Gunston existed until we read this. And seeing as how our other regional mascots are, in no particular order — a snub-nosed eagle, a KKK leader, a racial slur, a scary turtle, and a United — we really have no business being critical. But if he’s been retired (back to Slimey and their trashcan domicile?), then that’s that, and we must all now turn our attention to suggesting the most fantastic replacement for Gunston that we can. Any ideas?