DCist welcomes the first official day of summer with a special Opinionist piece by reader Rachel Demma. What are your thoughts on the sweatiest season in the city? Got any summer survival tips? Share what you love and hate about the season.

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? I could, but that would be pretty cruel. I have been thoroughly enjoying our long string of pleasant spring weather, and a glance at the calendar makes me cringe. Summer is officially upon us. Here in D.C., summer is the worst of seasons. Perhaps it is not as in your face as the icy blasts of winter, but trust me, it is dangerous. Allow me to count the ways:

1) The sun. The sun during summer is the classic “too much of a good thing will kill you while you are too busy wondering how cute you look.” Sunburn, sun stroke, sun poisoning. The ban de soleil is the bath of slow death. Does the sun seem like it’s getting stronger to you too? I’m betting Al Gore would agree. As if the real thing weren’t toxic enough, tanning salons have been popping up around DC at a ridiculous rate. I just have to ask, is that a melanoma in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? No matter. The pursuit of the perma-tan continues.

2) The beach. Of course, many people love the sun’s immediate results. The beach, be it Ocean City, Rehoboth, or Bethany, comes with its own host of horrors—undertows, unprovoked shark attacks, Speedos, horrific traffic tie-ups on Route 50. You must also remain mindful of the roving bands of fried, spotted old people who are moving past you at the same speed at which you drove to the beach, freakishly focused on the blips and beeps emitted by their hand-held metal detectors. They are busy locating all of the beer caps that were left behind yesterday.