In the debate over illegal church parking in District neighborhoods, there has been, from disinterested and (presumably) conservative observers, the occasional upwelling of glee regarding the situation in which the (presumably) liberal residents of the concerned areas find themselves. The conservative asides generally say something along the lines of this: liberal types, who pride themselves on seeing the many shades of gray in any problematic situation, now find themselves calling for a black and white interpretation of the law for double-parking churchgoers. The further presumption being, one guesses, that those liberals are actually quite self-interested and hypocritical, yada yada.

I can’t say that I agree with these critiques on this matter, because it seems absolutely self-evident to me that there is no hardship that needs assuaging in the parking situation. Congregations ought to be able to get to their churches the same way hundreds of thousands of people get to District destinations everyday, without resorting to double parking: public transportation. You don’t need to weigh a handful of social considerations against each other to craft a solution when there isn’t actually a problem, so residents — liberal or otherwise — are right to insist on a cut and dry solution. Nonetheless, the black-and-white side of the debate does lend itself to riffing by conservatives, and it shouldn’t come as a surprise, therefore, that a fairly deft rendering of the situation comes from, wait for it, the Washington Times’ Tom Knott. The money grafs:

And one other thing: Although it is fashionable in some circles to speak condescendingly of those who gentrify a neighborhood, the alternative is not exactly all that romantic. High-crime areas are not really cool places to live. Bars on the windows of homes and storefronts are not attractive features.
Consider cities to be living organisms destined to change, sometimes for the better, sometimes not. The well-intentioned who resist the change merely delay the inevitable. If a church can be sustained only by former Washingtonians of a certain age, rest assured, that is a church with no future.

In all of this, however, DCist has been remiss in not putting together one of our fancy polls, so today, we go to the people. Tell us folks, how should the church parking difficulties be addressed?

Picture taken by the horrible symbolism.