Cause Sugar’s Not Enough: In another entry to the “Why Most of the World Thinks We’re Nuts” department, a scientist in North Carolina is perfecting the caffeinated doughnut. Not really D.C. news, but surely still important to our readers. The sweet, energizing treat for the morning should be the greatest breakfast pairing since Jimmy Dean’s pancake-wrapped-sausage on a stick. Mmmmm… right?

Rash of Murders on Saturday Night: Chief Lanier, meet your first crime emergency. Four murders in D.C. occurred in less than five hours on Saturday night – two in Shaw, and two in Anacostia. Two other people were killed in Prince George’s during the same period. Before the Gun Ban debate begins anew, we note that one of the murders in Shaw was with the victim’s own baseball bat. That assailant is the only one of the six who’s behind bars this morning. What’s will the Chief’s response be?

Bay a Long Way from Clean: It turns out defining the problem wasn’t enough, and defining the solution wasn’t enough. It seems as though the only thing that’s going to get the Chesapeake Bay clean is, oh, say $28 billion in investments to update residential septic systems, correct farm erosion, and upgrade sewer treatment facilities. Even if the money was already allocated, there’s no way the required improvements could be implemented to make the 2010 deadline set by the EPA and the watershed states.

Briefly Noted: A pig in Herndon is feeling the politico’s wrath… Virginia seeking to pass a bill banning anonymous sperm donations… Annapolis teachers must apply for their own jobs

This Day in DCist: You think we complain about a lot now? Last year, we were twice as opinionated. First, former editor and DCist co-creator Mike Grass returned to opine on D.C.’s soulless, empty facades. Then DCist Martin felt just like Rockwell in his own Opinionist. In 2005, we noted that Metro improved the new digital signs in the stations.

Photo by Flickr user matt.gruenburg.