We know what you’re thinking. It’s the week of Valentine’s Day. You’re either coupled-up, buying the flowers, and getting ready for your $250 dinner at the Tabard Inn with your sweetie; or you’re single, planning on spending Wednesday watching “Lost” with your roommate, and secretly signing up for the next speed-dating session at Chi-Cha Lounge. So what better way to prepare for either event than standing in front of a packed room, re-hashing the hell that was your last break-up? Am I right??

Thank god, tonight’s installment of The F.W. Thomas Performances at Warehouse has exactly what you need with The Breakup Episode. First you’ll get to sit back and laugh sadistically at the pain of others, as the performers regale you with hilarious tales of heartbreak. Then your time for silent empathy is over, when they’ll open the show up to the audience. They want to hear your “transcripts of Instant Messenger dumpings [and] excerpts from restraining orders taken out by celebrity crushes and delivered via process server,” and whatever other magnificently terrible romantic tragedies you’ve suffered. Here’s hoping Doug Sanford will be in attendance. And the best part? The world’s tiniest (okay, not really) violin will accompany your public emotional admissions, played by the talented Gino Madrid.

Bring your emails, private journal entries, IM transcripts, and other stories to the Warehouse tonight at 7:30 p.m. — but get there early, as the F.W. Thomas Performances regularly sell out, and you don’t want to be stuck in the cafe with only the poor bartender to listen to you cry over your ex into your beer. Admission is $5.