Maybe it was the indignity of the Marlins spoiling the last Opening Game ever in RFK. Maybe it was the insufferable Aramark concessionaires, who insist that it’s perfectly acceptable to run out of buns in the fifth inning of the first damn game. Maybe it’s the humiliation of the long winless streak to the other presidents. There’s no telling. Something, though, was terribly amiss in that giant head of Teddy Roosevelt’s during the Nat’s 9-2 loss yesterday afternoon.
After a long spring of separating roster chaff and listening to the experts’ dire predictions, the Nats got to work yesterday at proving all the doomsayers right. The home team was outplayed in every facet of the game, disappointing the more than 40,000 fans in attendance and spoiling Manny Acta’s managerial debut.
Staff ace John Patterson just didn’t have his good stuff, and it showed early. Hanley Ramirez hammered Patterson’s second pitch to the right field corner for a double (one of his four hits on the day), then Mike Jacobs singled him home and the rout was on. Perhaps the most disturbing sign came on the inning’s last pitch: a two-out, two-on, two-strike fastball to Joe Borchard — a rear-back-and-fire-it moment where Patterson could barely crack 90 mph, well off the Big Nasty’s best heat in the mid-nineties. Borchard swung and missed, but that was one of the few times the Fish came up short.
Thus, by the top of the fourth inning, Teddy Roosevelt’s enormous noggin could be spotted on the roof over the right field upper deck, his toothy grin concealing his desperation. He seemed to be contemplating a quick end to what looks to be a long and painful season as he watched CF Nook Logan crash to the wall and then the warning track, making a brilliant catch, but injuring his foot. As Logan slowly limped all the way to the third base dugout, Roosevelt crept to the roof’s edge, appearing closer and closer to a merciful death in the outfield grass far below. With no regard for TR’s great legacy, third baseman and obvious Freedom Hater Miguel Cabrera mashed the next pitch to the left center upper deck. Patterson’s day was done and Teddy struggled to the edge, restrained only by a fearless and no doubt patriotic RFK employee.
Photo by Flickr user philliefan_99.
