The Washington Times brings us the most, ahem, alarming piece of news we’ve seen this morning: that D.C. fire officials are investigating whether some firefighters have been running a prostitution ring out of several of the city’s firehouses. Around a dozen employees from at least four firehouses are being investigated for involvement in the prostitution ring, which fire officials first learned of after a criminal investigation last month into claims that a sergeant exposed himself to a female EMT at Engine 8 in the 1500 block of C Street SE — though the investigation is actually focused on another firehouse, Engine 27, at 4201 Minnesota Ave. NE.

Certainly, these are disturbing allegations. But if you’re not sitting there at your computer reading this and wondering about the best possible deployment of the word “firehose” in response to this story, then we just don’t know each other at all, DCist readers. With that, please enjoy these responses that popped up this morning on the DCist staff email list, and add your own in the comments.

>> D.C.F.D.: They can put out any fire, but can’t figure out how to stop that burning sensation.

>> When you install a steel pole it’s inevitably going to attract a certain class of people…

>> Most prostitution services advertise with red lights. Only one can run them.

>> Officials wondered why the fire department had ads in the “Wild Side” section of the City Paper classifieds.

>> Anybody need a fire put out?