Since we didn’t witness it ourselves, the above is a representation of the City Paper’s Matthew Borlik’s impassioned and rageful rant against one — or all — of the District’s drivers. A key passage (though don’t let it stop you from reading the whole thing):

So it is for you, the stupid car-owning resident of Washington, D.C., that I write this blog entry—as well as those that will inevitably follow it as I continue to be almost killed by stupid shits such as yourself during my daily 10-minute walk to work. No, no—don’t thank me. Thank the batshit crazy driver of the silver Nissan Pathfinder who refused to stop at the crosswalk on Columbia Ave. NW in Adams Morgan even though I was in the middle of it. Thankfully, he wasn’t going fast enough to prevent the big fat fucking loogie I hocked up from landing right in the middle of his rear passenger side window.

Yeah, that’s right. I spit on your fucking car. Deal with it.

Borlik is an angry, angry man. But he sure knows how to express it.