Via Ezra Klein‘s twitterfeed, this list of America’s top 10 healthiest fast food restaurants indeed does not seem so much the healthiest list that could be assembled. By my count, the D.C. area features four of these heart-healthy-in-a-hurry options: Au Bon Pain, the Corner Bakery, and, ahem, Chipotle and McDonald’s.
Wait a second! Didn’t we learn from that one movie that if you eat in an absurd fashion that resembles absolutely no one’s real eating habits, you’ll get totally fat off this stuff? Perhaps because of the serious negative buzz, McDonald’s is purportedly on the up and up, developing a more conscientious menu. In the last few years they’ve built out the menu with salads (salads that no one, but no one, orders) and grilled chicken sandwiches. They cook their fries in a healthy way, compared to the competition.
Indeed, you’d think McDonald’s might show up on a list of the worst offenders — after all, it’s not like they took the Double Quarter Pounder off the menu. But then, you’d be underestimating the race to the bottom. Hardee’s might as well offer an angioplasty alongside their 920-calorie Country Breakfast Burrito, which is evil made tastable. Jack in the Box doesn’t know cooking that doesn’t start with heating up a pan of trans fats. If you don’t consider McDonald’s efforts commendable, consider that Rush Limbaugh has made it a point to celebrate Carl’s Jr.’s “defiant” embrace of totally disgusting food, like the opulent Monster Thickburger, that will speed your steady march toward death. That could just as easily be a million ditto heads ordering Big Macs in the drivethru. There is of course never an economic benefit to doing the right thing.
(Oh, and Carl’s Jr.? (Unabashedly sexist).
What about our local choices? Five Guys is a great option, so long as you eat only the peanuts and ketchup packets. Seriously, this stuff will kill you. A T.B.M. at Cosi will set you back a lot further than a Big Mac. Are there any decent options for food in the city that you doesn’t come from the farmer’s market? I’m never eating again.
Please use the comments to explain that I can’t count, the city features all 10 healthiest fast-food joints, there’s a Jason’s Deli several miles from the last stop on the Orange Line, etc.
Photo by stacyviera
