Or so Tony Kornheiser of PTI fame described his replacement, Jon Gruden, on ESPN’s Monday Night Fooball. Gruden perfected his tan as head coach of the Tampa Bay Bucanneers for seven years and won one Super Bowl with the franchise before being fired this offseason.

The Washington Post quoted from Kornheiser’s statement: “If I could handpick a replacement of a football guy, I would cast a net and drag in Jon Gruden. He is the two things you most want–smart and funny–and has the two things I don’t–good hair and a tan. I love PTI and am looking forward to continuing to yammer and yodel with Wilbon until the end of time.”

The story is that Kornheiser’s decision to leave Monday Night Football was his choice and not pressure from ESPN. In the Post article, Kornehiser cites his fear of flying as the reason behind his decision.

Gruden knows his football – particularly the Tuck Rule – but only September will show whether his smarts can win over MNF fans (regardless of whether they liked Kornheiser or not).

And the coach apparently doesn’t have Kornehiser’s confidence in his George Hamilton glow. Gruden told People magazine in 2002 (when he appeared in the magazine’s 50 Most Beautiful issue): “I think I look like a freckle-faced Huckleberry Finn.” Even better, “I was carded at an Oakland A’s game two years ago…and I forgot my ID, so a fan had to buy me beer.”

We guess Mike and Jaws will have to do the honor now.