When it comes to deciphering news about Metro — or pretty much of anything in this crazy town — I’ve found that it helps to simply boil things down to real-life versions of popular Simpsons gags. (But, you know, nothing after season eight.) Take, for instance, this morning’s Washington Post report about a kinda-sorta shake-up involving WMATA safety chief Alexa Dupigny-Samuels, which is a lot more digestible through the lens of a classic bit from “Treehouse of Horror III.” Observe:

“Metro is increasing supervision of its safety chief after complaints

That’s good!

“Dupigny-Samuels will keep her title and duties but will be supervised by Transit Police Chief Michael Taborn”

Oh, that’s bad. Taborn may have the requisite experience on his CV, but the problem here is that Metro needs truly independent safety reviews, not just another person to toe the company line.

“Late Tuesday, [Jim] Graham announced that the transit agency would lift the ban and allow the monitors access to conduct safety inspections and ensure that Metro employees are complying with safety rules and procedures”

That’s good!

“[B]oard members had not been aware of the oversight committee’s request for track access or of Metro’s responses.”

That’s bad. As those responsible for guiding a much-hated part of everyday Washington life, being a board member for WMATA is hardly an easy job. But one would imagine that requests by independent oversight agencies for track investigations and the response by those in executive positions within the agency would be something the board would want to keep on top of.

“Metro spokesman Steven Taubenkibel gave a different account. He said Dupigny-Samuels requested Taborn’s assistance “while the agency works through issues of safety oversight” in preparation for National Transportation Safety Board hearings into June’s deadly Red Line crash…Alexa is still the Chief Safety Officer.”

So nothing has really changed, eh? Yeah, that’s bad. Can we go now?