Dear St. Nick,

I know that Washington, D.C. has had its ups and downs this year. But if that movie where Jimmy Stewart talks to that angel on the bridge has taught me anything, it’s that Christmas is a time for wiping the slate clean. Considering that, this admittedly rough list features many abstract items which will undoubtedly be more difficult to procure than, say, a Kindle — but we could really use some of this stuff. Many thanks in advance.

• A request for 2010 from someone who sustains himself on the sweet, warming glow of his various RSS news feeds: more of this and much, much less of this, okay? In return, I will leave you extra homemade cookies.
• If you could somehow use your magic to remind the Washington Redskins that they are a professional football team and not a gaggle of tween drama queens, that would really be fantastic. Sure, there’s probably not a whole lot you can do with the on-field product or the ownership, but we’ll take whatever we can get.
• Please lend some patience to those Washingtonians making their way through the dreaded wintry mix today and tomorrow. Perhaps you could drop some salt from the sleigh to help the still-exhausted DDOT workers with the forecasted ice?
• Some improvements to the 11th Street Bridge. (Wait, scratch that, JDLand says that DDOT is already on this. One less thing off your list!)
• If you could please keep this particular vision into the future of terror as far away from Washington as possible, that would be fantastic. If even you are unable to do so, at least please provide an explanation as to how one is to use the restroom while wearing such an item.