The premiere was OK. The second episode quickly went downhill. And the third installment of The Real World D(upont) C(ircle)? Just be thankful if all you have to know about it is my summary below, delivered once again in bullet points.

• Ty and Emily are somewhere between hook-up buddies and the house’s first relationship.
• OMG they had sex.
• OMG Ty called what they have a “relationship.”
• OMG Emily is afraid of commitment.
• Is this predictable yet?
• The girls have lunch at Sweetgreen in Dupont. Callie confesses — she’s a vegan!
• Ty and Emily workout at the Washington Sports Club in Dupont.
• It’s been two weeks and we’ve barely seen Josh. What gives?
• How cute. They use an old school red phone to call family and friends, a la generic red phone in the Oval Office that presidents would use during the Cold War if things with the Soviets got dicey. One phone to order a nuclear strike, another to tell Mom that you’re having recurring self-image problems.
• More Ty and Emily.
• They head out in Adams Morgan. Emily dances with another guy. Ty gets jealous.
• Back at the house and clearly drunk, Ty and Emily have it out. In the heat of the moment, she spits in his face. He gets angry and storms downstairs. But then he tries to get in bed with her. She’s not having it.
• Why do i feel like the rest of the house is merely an audience to a really terrible Ty and Emily spin-off? Can’t they be banished to a house in Warrenton?
• Callie breaks out an “I Love D.C.” t-shirt. For as little time as she’s spent outside the four-block radius around the house, we’re happy that she’s already grown to love our fair city.
• Ty tells Callie she’s not thin enough to be a Playboy model. She gets upset. The girls gather to talk about how society is forcing them to look a certain way. And this will all eventually air on MTV, that bastion of progressive programming when it comes to what men and women should look like.
• As part of Ty’s apology to Callie, he says, “I didn’t think you’d be so sensitive.” That’s as heartfelt a mea culpa as any I’ve ever heard.
• Callie, Emily and Erika have lunch at Lauriol Plaza.
• If you think this has been boring to read, at least you didn’t have to actually watch a full hour of this contrived drama to produce this even more boring list. You’re welcome.
• Next week’s teaser seems to include Andrew seducing a local lady. But where’s Josh? FREE JOSH! He’s got a beast to let out of its cage!