Photo by yujie_

For a brief time today, both your weekend editors will be away from their desks at the same time — an eventuality we try to avoid at all costs. Just as only two Coca-Cola executives know Coke’s formula and each of them knows only half of it and only one of them may fly at any given time, one of your weekend editors is always grounded. And the same way that Locke stays in the submarine punching in the nuclear code while Jake explores the . . . well at least before the sideways universe . . . anyway what I mean to say is that Aaron and I don’t like to leave the desk unmanned.

So over our brief dual absence, here is a helpful choose-your-own adventure post to kick off your holiday weekend.

Good morning, Washington. Today the traffic is [ awful / abominable ] as [ every resident with a pulse / the Rolling Thunder First Amendment Motorcycle Ride ] takes advantage of the holiday weekend to [ run out of town like a bat out of hell / roll into town blaring Bat Out of Hell ]. Expect delays along [ 66 / 95 / 295 / 395 ] for a while this morning as [ people from Maryland attempt to drive ]. Though the weather is [ rainy / stormy ] now, it should be [ soggy / muggy ] this evening, making way for an [ insanely hot / intensely bright ] Sunday and Monday. For those of you driving today, be sure not to [ ice your bro when he’s behind the wheel / leave the house without some proper jams ]. Anyone who will spend this Saturday in the city [ ice-blocking his bros / searching for Chuma ] should keep the following things in mind.

» Metrobus Re-Routed on Twenty Routes: The United House of Prayer Memorial Parade, Rolling Thunder XXII Ride for Freedom, 4th Annual National Memorial Day Parade, City of Bowie Memorial Day Parade, and scattered road construction efforts will twist and stymie Metrobus routes throughout the area all weekend. Today, riders who might take the 64, 70, G2, and G8 through M Street between 6th and 7th Streets NW should be aware of a detour from noon to 3 p.m. The B24 route in Maryland will also stray from the tried-and-true path along Stonybrook Drive between 10 a.m. and 1 p.m. And road construction will hamper the 25A, 25B, and 25C routes near Campus Lane East. Check in with WMATA or NextBus for more information. (And note that the K12 route will detour from Monday through fall 2011!)

» Street Closures Throughout Area: Where Metrobuses fear to tread, cars certainly may not go. There will be numerous street closures associated with the Thunder Alley event and the aforementioned Rolling Thunder ride on Sunday. Today, 22nd Street NW is closed between Constitution Avenue and C Street and will remain closed until 5 p.m tomorrow. The Metropolitan Police Department has listed street closures tomorrow for the Rolling Thunder ride. Safe to assume until then that any street filled with bikers is probably not your best bet.