There are really only two types of Craiglist ads that pique our interest anymore: ones that rant vociferously — and at length — about Metro, the Washington dating scene, the sad state of D.C. politics or whatever, and incredibly creative/terrifyingly nerdy housing classifieds.

Yeah, this falls under the latter. The full text — which includes the phrase “you must meet and disarm a small furry goblin that guards the threshold to our keep (his name is Turtle (yes he has had all of his shots)),” after the jump.