Photo by Marcellina.

You know what this Thursday needs? Some incredibly juvenile humor, that’s what. Gary Emerling reports that the Council updated the D.C. Code this week to redefine “disorderly conduct”:

The council’s revisions specify it’s illegal within certain circumstances to direct “abusive or offensive language or gestures” at another person, to engage in “loud, threatening or abusive language” and to “incite or provoke violence.”

And to clarify indecent acts? The bill adds the words “genitalia,” “anus” and “masturbation” to the statute section.

Yes, tee hee hee. Moving on!

The clarification is the consequence of the police department’s incredibly high rate of disorderly conduct arrests over the past decade — police have apparently been relying on the charge to handle far too wide a net of offenses. Disorderly conduct arrests have gone down 48 percent between 2000 and 2009, but there were still 5,513 disorderly conduct arrests in the District last year. The revised section of the code would differentiate between, for instance, two people having sex in public and those who are being “loud and boisterous” — now the former would fall under “indecent or obscene exposure,” rather than “disorderly conduct.” The ACLU, one of the biggest supporters of the revision, believes the clarifications will help tamp down on abuses of power by police officers.