Photo by Chris Rief aka Spodie Odie.

What can you buy with $78,869? Well, that sure is a lot of money.

Let’s see. You could be the proud owner of this two-bedroom home at 823 46th Street NE in Deanwood, and have enough $3,000 left over to pay for a couple of repairs, closing costs, or what have you. If you want something a little splashier, perhaps you’d be interested in purchasing this classic 1969 Dodge Super Bee (though I’m not sure about that bright orange paint job). You could buy 112 64GB iPads, chop a little over a quarter out of Marion Barry’s tax debt, have a celebrity make an appearance at your holiday party, or purchase a Levitating Hover Scooter for you and five of your friends. Maybe you simply just put the cash into a diversified fund and, assuming a conservative six percent rate of return, end up with $141,300 when the 2020 Census results roll in.

Or, as the Washington Times reports, you could pay for the printing of 650 copies of a 1,926-page bill omnibus spending bill which was shot down immediately last week by Republicans and never saw the light of day, let alone the floor of the Congress or the eyes of a Representative or Senator.

Of course, you’d never be given such an option. Taxpayer money pays for the printing services, so while you’d probably rather spend the cash on those iPads, the hovercraft or just grow it into $141,300, the government chose the printing. But hey, at 6.3 cents per page, it was probably of really high quality, so at least there’s that.