The Examiner reports that Rick Kelsey, a former teacher at McKinley Technology High School, has been charged with stealing a portion of a $100,000 grant meant to fund the McKinley students’ efforts to teach senior citizens how use the internet. Police arrested Kelsey this morning after a month-long investigation into the grant spending — one teacher who was questioned by school investigators said that it was “the biggest case of fraud, waste, and abuse that he’s ever seen.” Of course, the most interesting part of the story is probably how Kelsey’s defenders contradict themselves when they try to proclaim his innocence: Kelsey’s wife claims that Kelsey spent appropriately and submitted expense reports to the school system; the man who wrote the grant application, meanwhile, said that Kelsey couldn’t have been guilty because he “had no ability to move any money, to spend any money.” Whoops.