Photo by fcreativ.If popular 1990s situation comedies taught us anything, it’s that every group of friends has one person that they all make fun of: the loser of the group. And in the occasionally cutthroat Washington metropolitan area, this phenomenon has the tendency to manifest itself at a very young age.
Overheard of the Week
Saturday afternoon, a group of four 9- and 10-year old boys in Arlington.
Loudest Boy: “I’m a descendent of George Washington.”
Friend 1: “Dude, there’s no way! How would you even know?”
Loudest Boy: “My dad said George Washington is the father of our country and I’m a child of our country so I guess that means we’re related.”
Friend 2: “You’re such a moron! And I think that lady heard you.”
Overheard in D.C. relies on you, the good readers, to send in the good stuff when you hear it. Please make sure to tell us when it was, who said it, and where, or else we’ll have to email you back and ask.
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Same difference, amiright?
Saturday afternoon in front of Air and Space Museum:
Mother: “What do you want for lunch?”
4 year old: “Squirrel!”
Mother: “No squirrel, how about McDonalds?”
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Insult, meet injury
Security guard on cell phone outside the National Air & Space Museum:
“Yeah, she wiped me out, she took everything. … And you know the worst part? She’s got one tooth left and she BIT ME with it!”
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You came to the right place, sir
On the National Mall, a tourist gets off the metro with his wife and kids. He’s standing on the dirt path of the Mall with the Capitol on one end and the Washington Monument on the other.
“I need a landmark!”
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Keep it classy
Overheard on the P6 north to Rhode Island Avenue station:
Mid-20s black male is struggling to get his dollar to go into the farebox.
Male bus driver: “Would you hurry up already? Man, I would hate to be your girlfriend! [In a female voice:] ‘Is it in yet?! Is it in yet?!'”
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That’s a long way to drive to hang out in Cleveland Park
At Nanny O’Brien’s in Cleveland Park, two mid-twenties guys are talking at the bar.
Man #1: “It’s really great to be living in the DMV now.”
Man #2: “How long have you been here?”
Man #1: “About 6 months.”
Man #2: “Nice, where about are you living?”
Man #1: “Baltimore.”
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Adorable
Sunday, March 20th on the Blue line. At the Smithsonian stop, a family with a young girl gets on the Metro:
Young girl talking about the metro: “This takes us away from the dinosaurs!” Then later, as she stood backward on her seat and grabbed the metal bar: “I need to hold on, otherwise I get scared!!”
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Glass half-full, I guess
In an office kitchen during lunch, the TV is on CNN. Two female coworkers are talking.
One co-worker to the other: “…but now I know where all these places in Libya are!”
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Priorities!
Two college age girls get on the Metro at Tenleytown.
Girl 1: “Oh, I got a 97 on my exam.”
Girl 2: “Awesome!”
Girl 1: “Yeah, I totally cheated off the guy next to me. The trick is to not let the professor see your eyes, then you just look over at their paper.”
Girl 2 [apparently unfazed by this admission]: “Yeah, true.”
Girl 1: “There is no way I’m going to let the sorority affect my academics, and I just didn’t have time to study.”
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BUT I DO LIKE TO OVERREACT!
In Silver Spring, several late 20s office workers exiting a building at around lunch time.
Guy 1: “Whatever, champ!”
Guy 2: “I’M NOT A FUCKING SEA-MONSTER!”
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Ewwwwwwww
On the Orange Line, a college-aged guy is talking to a girl.
“When you mistake a Monistat for a Mentos, you don’t forget that.”
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Like, omigod
Family of tourists — mom, dad and two teenaged daughters — are walking.
One daughter to the other, talking about the D.C. homeless population: “And think, they have like…never been on Facebook.”
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Thanks, Captain Obvious
Group of three touristy type guys in their early 20s are at the top of the Gallery Place escalators during Friday morning rush hour.
One tourist to his tourist buddies: “Hey guys, keep moving a bit. Don’t stop
right at the top of the escalators.”
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That is so true
Two law students at American University Washington College of Law were asked to complete professor evaluations, which requests students to state whether certain teaching methods were employed during the semester.
Girl in class, filling out her evaluations: “Role Play? What’s role play?”
Boy in class, in response: “If you have to ask, you’re not ready to know.”
