Photo by InspirationDC.

The shutdown may (or may not) be upon us, which is either causing panic (from government workers and people who like getting their trash picked up) rage (the recent onslaught of Tea Partiers on the Boehner trash dump Facebook page, for example), or higher alcohol sales in advance of government shutdown parties. But whatever happens with the shutdown, here’s some advice on how to get your Monday morning off right.

Overheard of the Week

Walking down 14th Street towards U Street in the morning:

Guy in his late 20s or early 30s on his cell phone: “I love waking up to a good scrotum joke.”

After the jump: dads, street games, food and phones.

As always, Overheard in D.C. relies on you to tell us when you hear stuff. And make sure you also say who said it, when, and in what context. Otherwise, it’s just a random line of speech.

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Thanks for that bolt of wisdom, Dad! I will pass it on for generations.

At the tidal basin on Sunday afternoon:

A middle-aged tourist with a Southern accent to, presumably, his son: “Trees are real sturdy. I ran into a tree once.”

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Much more popular than emo Donkey Kong

At the corner of 20th and L Streets NW around lunchtime:

Pedestrians are waiting at the corner while a middle-aged man with leather boat shoes, disheveled gray hair and an blazer starts to walk out in the middle of 20th Street against the light. He actually watches cars come and then dodges in and out of the way.

Guy to coworker: “We’ve been watching him do this for the last 3 blocks. He’s like a preppy Frogger.”

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The Gillian Clark of H Street NE

At Sticky Rice:

Guy who works there slow clapping to a coworker who just walked in: “Yay! You got a fedora! I’ve never seen anyone here before with a fedora on… That’s soooo cool!”

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Do they sell that at Whole Foods?

In an office building elevator:

A middle-aged woman is talking to her friend about her husband, who has apparently been on a diet recently but is always hungry.

“So I told him he needs to start eating more rice, but the whole wheat kind, so it’s more healthy.”

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Probably the only way it ever happens

During the Destroyer show at the Black Cat:

20-something female to boyfriend/date: “If the saxophone player gets laid tonight, it’s *your* fault.”

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Clearly not on an AT&T cell phone, then

Late Saturday afternoon outside the Cosi in Dupont Circle:

Middle aged woman with a heavy Tennessee twang on her cell phone, “We’re in Washington, D.C. I can’t believe the call even went through!”

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Yes, it’s 2,000 miles that way

Near G.W. in the afternoon:

Tourist to jogger: “Is the Kennedy Space Center that way?”