Photo by lightwelder | Nick.One of the best things about Metro is the train operators: they can pretty much say whatever they want over the loudspeaker. If they want to say the station names in a breathy voice, or tell people not to forget their umbrellas, elaborate on what’s around stations, or make fun of the tourist who is trying to stick his foot in the door, no problem.
Overheard of the Week
On the Red Line, during delays caused by a passenger being hit by a train at Bethesda:
Metro train operator over the loud speaker: “Someone asked for an update on the customer struck by a train at Bethesda. Let’s just say, you all will be able to turn around from this bad day and have a better one tomorrow. This person will not.”
After the jump, more from Metro, tourists being tourists, and interns being interns.
If you hear something funny or weird or interesting, send it in to us! Make sure to say where you heard it, who said it, and in what context.
——
???
At the National Zoo, late afternoon on a weekday:
A minivan pulls into a parking lot, crossing paths with an employee leaving for the day.
Middle-aged woman driving the van: “What’s in here?”
Employee: [pauses with a quizzical look on her face]
Woman: “Is this, like, a zoo or something? What’s in here?”
Employee: “Um, animals?”
——
If schoolkids are doing it, it must be cool
In the women’s bathroom at a restaurant on Bethesda Row during Restaurant Week:
Woman to another through the bathroom stall: “Sometimes in the middle of the day at work, I just want to smoke weed. Especially because I know my students are doing it, they’re always writing 4:20 on their papers.”
2nd woman, clearly in agreement: “The only reason I don’t do it is because I’m trying to get my security clearance.”
——
Of course she means this symbolically, because of our lack of voting rights.
Next to the Marriott at Metro Center at around 12:45 p.m. on Friday:
Tourist family is talking.
15-year-old points to a D.C. flag and says to his 12-year-old brother: “Do you see that flag with red and white stripes and red stars? I’ll give you $50 if you know what flag it is.”
Mother: “China.”
——
Ah, interns
At the Senate:
Intern watching debates: “I wish I knew who this is speaking so I could quote him!”
Older reporter: “It’s a senator from New York.”
Intern: “There are too many of them! How will I figure out which one it is?”
——
We wish
On the Orange line at L’Enfant Plaza:
Tourist: “Which station is this? Elephant Plaza?”
——
The penalty for diving if you play for FC Heaven: smiting.
At the D.C. United game last weekend:
D.C. fans pull a giant jersey out, covering most of the lower stands.
Little kid: “That’s God’s shirt.”
——
D.C.: A good beer town
Two guys staring at beer bottle case at Capitol Lounge:
Guy 1: “Which one should I get?”
Guy 2: “I look for colorful ones and shit.”
——
Attention WMATA: Corn dogs, please
At about 1:30 p.m. on Red Line train towards Shady Grove:
A group of 5 high school-aged boys is talking.
Boy 1: “I’m hungry.”
Boy 2: “At the next stop, let’s find the snack car.”
Boy 1: “There’s no snack car on these trains.”
Boy 2: “There are snack cars on every train.”
At the next stop, they got off and ran down the platform, presumably looking for the snack car.
——
And finally, in honor of spring weather, some true romance
A twenty-something couple is sitting on a block by the FDR memorial, among the blossoms, late Monday afternoon:
Man: “I find ways to work smarter, not harder, and then I work harder as well.”
Woman, placing hand on his knee and looking adoringly into his eyes: [sigh] “Efficiency…”