Photo by a.w.miller.

Dude, like, animals are so cool. They’re always doing weird stuff, and like, they’re here in D.C. but they’re from somewhere else. That’s so crazy. And like, pandas never do it. Let’s get a frozen lemonade.

Overheard of the Week

At the National Zoo on Wednesday afternoon:

Three teenage tourists in grunge attire are holding hands and skipping down the Olmstead Walk pathway.

Teens singing together: “We’re off to see the Wizard …”
Teenage guy: “We should have said ‘We’re off to see the Wizard — the Wonder Wizard of Pot!'”

Keep reading for federal employees, Amtrak employees and interns.

As always, Overheard in D.C. can only post what we get! Send in the good stuff and tell us where, who and when.

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If only

On Train 196 about to depart Union Station:

Amtrak conductor reminding passengers to sign their tickets: “If you do not have a pen, find a pen. Like good Democrats and Republicans, reach across the aisle.”

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Morale: it starts with you

Monday morning, June 13, in an elevator of a federal building in Northwest:

Intern starting his second week: “So I’m still waiting for them to set up my computer access.”
Elevator passenger #1: “Oh, that sucks.”
Intern: “Yeah, I spent all last week asking about five times a day: ‘Is there anything I can do?’ ‘Nope.’ ‘Is there anything I can do?’ ‘Nope.'”
Elevator passenger #2, after the intern exits: “Welcome to the federal government.”

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I guess it’s good to be happy about small things

At the Wilson Aquatic Center locker room:

Three preteen girls in bikinis are checking themselves out in the mirror.

Girl #1: “Have you seen my Birkenstock tan?”
Other two look down.
Girl #1: “I’m really proud of it. [pause] It’s my most prized possession, actually.”
Other two nod enthusiastically in agreement.

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And intern facepalm season has begun

Two interns on an escalator at Metro Center, discussing the Sistine Chapel ceiling:

Guy: “Do you know who painted it?”
Girl: “Pablo Picasso?”
Guy: “No — Michelangelo.”
Girl: “Oh, well I was close!”
Guy: “Pablo Picasso didn’t paint anything big.”
Girl: “Whatever, they’re both dead.”

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Sure, take the Red Line to Penn Station

At the Starbucks on Dupont Circle on Tuesday Evening:

Woman in her early 60s walks in and asks the barista: “Is this the ‘Flat-Iron Building? Can you tell me how to get to the Flat-Iron Building?”

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Attention National Zoo, here’s your new ad campaign

At the Zoo:

Two children (boy and girl) are with their mother.

Girl to Boy and Mother (pointing to an empty animal enclosure): “There’s no panda in there.”
Boy to Girl and Mother: “I don’t wanna see a pile of donkey poop…I wanna see a panda! Mom, take us to the pandas!”

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Sounds like an intervention is needed. We’re worried about you.

Near the Logan Circle Whole Foods:

Two mid-twenties are girls walking around chatting.

Girl 1: “Oh. My. God. [Girl’s name]. I fell off the gluten wagon sooo hard last night. You should have seen it.”
Girl 2: ………

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Too late

A small group of twenty-somethings traveling on the Blue Line from Crystal City to Smithsonian on Sunday:

Girl 1: “Okay, so, we’re on the Blue and we’re taking it to Smithsonian. This will be quicker than the Yellow.”
Guy 1: “Really? Because we could’ve taken the Yellow to L’Enfant and transfer to the Blue to get to Smithsonian.”
Girl 1: “Yeah, but this way we don’t have to switch trains.”
Guy 1: “Right. I like staying on one train per trip.”
Girl 2: “We could’ve taken the Yellow to get off at L’Enfant and walked from there.”
Guy 2: “Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, everybody just calm down and lower your voices. We’re going to start to sound like tourists.”

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And scene

On Red Line train at Union Station:

Tiny little energetic 5-year old girl to her parents as they run into the train: “I wanna go on the pole!”