Photo by tedeytan.

Good morning, Washington. So what’s on your to-do list today? Picking up some perfume? A car wash, maybe? Perhaps a trip to 7-11 to stock up on Slurpees? What about that golf equipment you were going to buy? (Oh, and don’t forget to call in those tee times — can’t have that merchandise to go to waste, now!) Perhaps you need to pay the satellite TV bill? After all that errand-running, you’ll probably be pretty hungry for a big dinner tonight — will it be Jimmy Buffett’s Margaritaville or a table at the always-classy Hooters? If that list looks like yours, well, you and Ward 5 D.C. Councilmember Harry Thomas, Jr. have quite a bit in common — those are but some of the items on which Thomas spent money allocated to his Team Thomas nonprofit by the city. The money, of course, was meant to purchase items to help kids get involved in sports — instead, Alan Suderman’s romp through the organization’s bank records reveals that Thomas spent a large amount of the money to help himself get involved in golf, as well as various other items, like — and you can’t make this stuff up — a $350 charge for pest control.

Walmartmania: As much as we enjoyed Loose Lips’ takedown of the Team Thomas spending, the City Paper’s cover story on Walmart actually overshadows it. Lydia DePillis digs into precisely how the retail giant managed to get into the District, and concludes that “The most sophisticated retail entrepreneur in the world brought its A-game to D.C. It probably didn’t need it.” The money quote from Walmart spokesperson Steve Restrivo? Walmart’s D.C. customers “are folks who probably never wrote a letter to the editor, never showed up at an ANC meeting, never went and voiced their opinion to their councilmember, yet they’re going to vote for every day with their pocketbook.” (Also: be sure to take note of DePillis’ footnotes.)

Authorities Searching For B-W Parkway Attacker: Maryland police are continuing to look for a man who emerged from the woods on the side of the Baltimore-Washington Parkway yesterday and proceeded to attack a speed camera vehicle with a sledgehammer. The man, a white, gray-haired man in his 60s who was also toting a shotgun, didn’t actually harm the driver of the vehicle, but did tap on the rear window with the gun and then smashed the windshield with the hammer. Traffic was backed up for hours due to the incident.

Police Investigating Shooting: D.C. police are looking into a pair of shootings which occurred last night, one at the intersection of Mount Pleasant Street and Irving Street NW, the other at 18th Street and U Place. It’s believed that the incident in Northwest may have been self-inflicted by an intoxicated man.

Briefly Noted: Kwame Brown faces Board of Elections and Ethics over campaign finance accusations today…MPD Chief Lanier defends police’s relationship with LGBT community…Deborah Simmons argues that D.C. doesn’t “even need to worry about a site” to lure Redskins back to town (oh, really?)…Driver in fatal Va. bus crash pleads not guilty…Long-vacant U Street properties getting renovated…No crimes reported on Met Branch Trail since community mobilized…MWAA urging Metro to buy fewer rail cars to save money on Dulles Rail extension.

This Day in DCist: Last year, an early-morning oil spill caused a smelly, slippery mess on U Street, while an enormous broken water main in Potomac made for some fascinating afternoon rush-hour imagery.