Photo by Marcellina.Drugs are bad, m’kay. Sometimes you get busted for them. Sometimes, you don’t.
Overheard of the Week
Outside D.C. Superior Court, around 10 a.m. on a weekday:
A man in his late 30s on a cell phone: “Yeah, so they charged me with violating my probation, and possession of heroin, but they never field tested me!”
[Pauses to listen to the person on the other end.]
“Cuz, man, if they had field tested me, they woulda realized it was just a pile of coke!”
Keep reading for birth control, our creepy monuments and Comic Book Guy.
Overheard in D.C. depends on you to send in the funny and weird stuff you hear. But make sure you tell us who said it, where and in what context.
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Birth control
On the D8 bus to Union Station:
A hyperactive little kid has been talking and making noises the entire ride to his older sister while making gross-sounding burps.
Kid: [BUURRP] “Why do I keep burping? Wanna smell my breath?”
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Just look at the White House lawn!
At the Vietnam Memorial:
Early 30s man to son while pointing at the Memorial: “Show some respect, do you know how many people are buried behind that wall?”
Son: “Really? People are buried there?”
Dad: “Why do you think the grass behind the wall is so green?”
Son: “Oh, sorry.”
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Can I have his autograph?
Orange Line toward Vienna after evening rush hour:
30-something guy to a 30-something woman who’d clearly rather be reading: “The only person I know who speaks Spanish is really old, you know? Like, Carlos Santana.”
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Here’s a perfect opportunity for Spike Mendelsohn jokes
Gallery Place (on 7th Street heading towards H Street), Tuesday night:
Group of three tourists (two men and one woman) walking just in front of City Sports.
One of the men in the group says out loud: “Is that a tampon bar?”
[They’re looking at Comfort Shoes and La Tasca.]
Same man: “Oh, tapas! it’s a tapas bar!”
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Way to go Metro, you make little girls sad
Friday night, approaching the Dupont South Metro entrance where 2 of the down escalators were broken:
Little girl, maybe about seven: “I don’t like this escalator.”
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Hey-o
Several people are watching CNN at a large government agency:
Federal employee #1: “Congress’ disapproval rate is 82%? Oh my god!”
Federal employee #2: “So who do you think is in that 18%?”
Multiple people at once: “Their families!”
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Birth control, part 2
Safeway on Columbia Road in Adams Morgan on a Sunday afternoon:
An annoying 8-10 year old boy is in the checkout line with his mother and calls an adult “son” and tells him to get out of the way.
Boy starts singing loudly: “Mommy ain’t got no boyfriend, mommy ain’t got no boyfriend, mommy ain’t got no boyfriend!”
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Worst. Conspiracy. Ever.
Big Planet Comics in Georgetown on a Saturday afternoon:
Cashier talking to parent on phone about Obama releasing birth certificate: “There’s something about your generation that can’t admit it’s racist.”
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And finally…
Lunch time today on N Street NW between Connecticut and 17th:
Young woman in a sundress is standing in the street bent over, vomiting repeatedly while still talking on her cell phone.
Woman: “Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.”
Resumes conversation.
