Photo by yostinator.

Hurricane Irene came and went, and luckily didn’t cause too much damage, as hurricanes go. But there were some lingering after-effects.

Overheard of the Week

Morning after the hurricane, around 11 a.m., outside Columbia Heights Coffee on 11th Street:

One older gentlemen on a bike talks to another older gentlemen walking down the sidewalk.

Man 1: “How are you today?”
Man 2: “I’m drunk.”

After the jump, bus problems, mall problems and medical problems.

Make sure to keep Overheard in D.C. supplied with overheards — send them in. And tell us where, when and who said it.

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I’m convinced

On the bus in Silver Spring:

A man is arguing with the bus driver about the negative balance on his SmarTrip card. He has a half-empty bottle of what looks like pink champagne held behind his back.

Man: “I know this is the Matrix, I know we live in the Matrix man, but you trust technology over me?”
[pause]
“I was advanced in my math classes. That’s how vicious I am with accounting.”

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If there’s one thing religions are affiliated with…

Thursday evening, three early 20-somethings on a Metro car at King Street in Alexandria:

Girl #1, gesturing to the George Washington Masonic Memorial: “See that phallus? They call that thing the ‘Mormon Temple’ on all the traffic reports.”

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Interesting, please talk some more about this so everybody can listen in

At the G2 bus stop at 14th and P:

50-something man: “You got about 20 pounds of fecal matter inside you.”
50-something woman: “Mmmmhmm.”

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No dummy, it’s because there was a big flood and the lower part was under water

Father and son, walking near the Museum of American History:

Tourist Father: “You know why the Washington monument is two different shades?”
Son: “Because the top stones get more light.”
Father: “That’s right!”

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MCFADDEN’S!!! WOOOOO

In Tryst in Adams Morgan on a Saturday night:

A younger college student, presumably at GW, is eating dinner with the parents.

Student, quite authoritatively and with a shrug: “Foggy Bottom is just the best place to go in D.C. for nightlife.”

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And you, ma’am, are now qualified to drive a Tourmobile

Going home at night from Alexandria on the Yellow Line train:

Two women with luggage, likely tourists, board the train at DCA. One woman instantly starts loudly sharing all of her knowledge of D.C., because she has traveled here in the past, where she has stayed, eaten, etc.

After the train departs Crystal City, she confidently says “And now, that was the stop for Crystal City.”
The other woman asks with wonder, “What is Crystal City?”
First woman replies: “Ummmm, well, Crystal City is (pause), it’s like (another pause), it’s like a little town that is right next to D.C.”

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…I think it’s supposed to start with a B

At Improvapalooza on Saturday night:

Improviser: “You, sir, where do you work?”
Audience member: “The Senate.”
Improviser: “Oh, that’s important, you do you work for?”
Audience member: “Wyden.”
[Somewhat confused look from improvisers.]
Audience member: “Ron Wyden. I swear to God he’s a real senator.”

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Multiple facepalm

On the platform at Gallery Place, late Saturday afternoon during the hurricane:

Tourist: “Excuse me, is this where the Mall is? Or should I go to Smithsonian?”
Girl: “Well, you can go from here…but there’s a hurricane out.”
Tourist: “I know, that’s why I’m going there. To buy an umbrella.”
Girl: “Oh. You want *a* mall, not *the* mall.”
Tourist looks confused.
Girl: “Mall of America?”
Tourist: “Yeah, my sister told me it was a good one. Is there a Walmart there?”

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Zzzzz, boring

At Starbucks at Connecticut Avenue and R Street NW, 3:30 on Friday, August 26:

A woman talking to another woman: “Yesterday my house exploded.”
She continues talking, much quieter.