Photo by Illegal DC Graffiti.

Capitol Hill is full of the best and brightest. It’s all smart people getting stuff done, helping Americans, hobnobbing with brilliance and being clever. Right?

Overheard of the Week

In line for a House hearing:

Lobbyist talking to a new Hill reporter about what to expect from the hearing: “It’s not like
something you see on West Wing. It’s much dumber than that.”

Overheard in D.C. relies on you to hear the good stuff and send it in. Make sure to tell us who said it, where and in what situation, otherwise it’s just a random quote.

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Not sure The Hangover is a good source for life lessons

On the Key Bridge:

20-something man crossing from Georgetown to Rosslyn, on cell phone: “Dude…you just need to find your wolf pack.”

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Tough love

On the 54 bus near 14th and Spring NW:

Woman and 3-4 year old boy with scraped knee get on the bus. The kid is wailing at the top of his lungs. They sit and the woman gives the kid a “don’t fuck with me” look.

Woman: “Then learn how to walk!”

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Who hasn’t had that problem

Over dinner in Dupont:

Two women are talking over dinner at around 8:30PM.

Woman 1: “…and then he tried to get up to go to the bathroom and I was like, ‘You realize you’re still handcuffed to the bed, right?'”

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Right, and that GameStop is actually the Velvet Lounge

At H & 7th Street NE on Saturday:

A twenty-something girl and guy are walking to the H Street festival.

Girl: “Oh, I know where we are! Ben’s Chili Bowl is right up here.”
Guy: “Yeah, and the 9:30 Club.”

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Hey, speak for yourself

At 19th and H NW:

Woman 1: “There’s a lot of ways to die above the waist. I mean, you got all them organs and shit.”
Woman 2: “There a lot of ways to die below the waist too.”
Woman 1: “Die of embarrassment.”

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Good advice: it’s everywhere

Outside the Capitol:

The tail end of a conversation between a touristy-looking woman and a Capitol Police officer guarding one of the entrances with a big gun.

Woman: “Thank you. Don’t go shooting anyone!”
Police officer: “Uh, I’ll try not to.”
Woman:”And if you do, make sure to shoot straight!” [walks off]

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Psychological warfare starts young

At a Federal agency around lunchtime:

Little girl (3 or 4 years old) walks into a women’s restroom with her mom around lunchtime, after walking through the office and meeting some of the people her mom works with at the agency.

Girl: “Momma, who was that?”
Mom: “That’s my boss. My big boss, Mr. [name].”
Girl: “Another boss? You have lots of bosses.”
Mom: “Yes, yes I do. There are lots of bosses here.”
Girl: “But who do you get to be the boss of?”
Mom: “Well, there’s Mr. [name], and Mr. [name]…and Daddy.”
Girl [no change in emotion or laughter]: “Yeah, Moms are always the bosses of
the household.”
Mom [also totally serious]: “Yes. Yes they are.”

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Freshmen: worse than interns?

Group of college freshmen talking on a bus headed to Dupont Circle, Friday evening around 6:45 p.m.:

Guy #1: “That was a good taxi ride. The driver’s name was Mohammed, so, like, yea, we’re obviously from different religious backgrounds. And he lives in Vermont.”
Guy #2 [completely serious]: “Vermont? Is that near here?”
Guy #1: “Oh, Virginia. I meant Virginia. I don’t know why I said Vermont. I guess they’re both Vs.”

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And finally, nature calls

Two teenage tourist girls in the bathroom at the Old Post Office Pavilion:

Girl 1: “I have to pee!”
Girl 2 [very matter-of-factly]: “I have…to poop.”
Girl 1: “Ew, [name of girl] you’re gross. Girls aren’t supposed to do that. You’re not supposed to do that.”
Much laughing, bathroom noises, etc., ensues.
Girl 1: “So… do you just have a really sensitive butt or something?”