Photo by 1 brian
There are a lot of places you never want to be in the D.C. area: the Orange Line during rush hour, the Front Page during intern season, Nationals Park during a Phillies game. But if you’re trying to pick the worst places in the area, this lady may have just won:
Let’s play a new game: Name the worst places you can think of
At the Starbucks at Wisconsin Avenue and 34th Street NW:
Two middle-aged women are talking: “After you’ve been to the American Girl store, Tysons Corner seems like an oasis of calm.”
After the jump, some sort of ethnic community near downtown, radio killed the news star, and bad jokes.
Overheard in D.C. relies on you, the reader, to hear and send in that funny stuff to our special Overheard in D.C. email address. Make sure to tell us where, who and in what context. Otherwise, it’s just a random quote.
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Welcome to D.C.’s authentic Chinatown
At Ninth and H streets NW about 9 a.m. on a Saturday:
A family that appears to be tourists are marveling at the Chinatown arch.
Tourist Dad: “See, that’s the Chinatown arch.”
Tourist Mom: “Oooh!”
9 Year Old Tourist Boy: “MOM, DAD! A FIVE GUYS!” (in reference to the one at 8th & H St NW.)
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Luckily for this guy, being stupid is not against the law
About 6 a.m. right outside 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW:
Jogger, to cop: “Excuse me sir, is this the White House?”
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Radio: still relevant
A small group of 20- or 30-somethings are walking up Wisconsin Avenue in Glover Park on Saturday night, just as it’s starting to snow:
A WTOP radio reporter standing on the sidewalk approaches them.
Reporter, mic in hand: “Hi, I was wondering if any of you have any thoughts about Whitney Houston dying? Were you fans? Did you like her music?”
Guy No. 1: “Oh wow, Whitney Houston died?”
Guy No. 2: “Um, actually we’re kind of late for a surprise party…”
Reporter: “Oh, well… SURPRISE!”
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This is a verb we should all start using
Sunday afternoon, getting off Metrorail at Dupont Circle to take the shuttle bus because of single-tracking:
A 20-something guy already on escalator toward P Street NW yells down to Metro worker on platform: “Wait! Which side does the shuttle bus pick up on?”
Her reply: “Q! As in Quasimodo. As in Quasimodo yourself to the other side!”
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Happy V-Day!
On Valentine’s Day in Georgetown outside Baked and Wired:
Waiting in line outside the coffee-and-cupcake shop, a man in his late 20s wearing a double-breasted suit with his small dog is talking to a friend: “What I worry about, man, is STDs! I mean, herpes is forever!”
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At a showing ofThe Artistat the AFI Silver Theatre in Silver Spring:
A middle-aged woman is sitting with her mother. The mother was probably in her 70s.
About five minutes in she turns to her daughter and asks “Can you hear what they’re saying, or are there no words in this movie?”
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Acting is hard
At the Argonaut a few weeks ago, watching the AFC Championship Game between the Baltimore Ravens and New England Patriots:
Single girl at the bar is getting progressively drunker, louder and dumber.
A commercial for Sam Worthington’s new movie comes on and she says: “That’s the guy from Avatar. So, he’s not paralyzed in a wheelchair? I thought he was.”
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A new way to achieve racial harmony:
On G Street NW, walking toward Metro Center from a Capitals game:
Black street musician, pausing from playing jazz flute: “Damn, white people suck like a motherfucker. (In a mocking, nerdy voice) ‘Heyyyy, let’s go to a hockey game!'”
White hockey patron to other white hockey patron: “I can’t say I don’t agree with him. White people do suck like a motherfucker.”
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See that trombone above
At Starbucks across in Pentagon City on Valentine’s Day:
Barista: “Hi, how’s your Valentine’s Day going today?”
Guy in his 30s wearing slacks and a dress shirt: “Well, no one’s shooting at me, so I guess pretty good.”
