Big wins for Scare Force One and the Cherry Blossom Bombshells mean these two will hold on to the top spots in the standings, and so will meet in the DC Rollergirls championship bout in May. This is how it all went down at the Armory on Saturday.
Scare Force One 279 – 23 Majority Whips
By Special Correspondent: Rock Clobster
The first bout of the evening pitted defending league champions Scare Force One against DCRG’s newest home team, the Majority Whips, who have already made their mark with several close matchups this season. In the teams’ last meeting in December, the Whips got served by the Fright Attendants, losing 161-43.
Scare Force started off by fielding double-threat Soledad on the jammer line against the Whips’ Nasty Pelosi. While Nasty was stuck behind blockers Condoleezza Slice and Velocityraptor, Soledad quickly snagged lead jammer and completed three scoring passes before being boxed for a track-cutting penalty, allowing Nasty to score, ending the jam 14-2 Scare Force. After some low-scoring jams, Nasty donned the star again and amassed five points to cut the lead to 16-8.
The Whips managed to hang on for two more jams, closing in at 28-14, but Scare Force soon cracked the Whips for good in two high-scoring jams: a 12-0 for Marion Barrycuda, and a 20-0 for Feral Streak that ballooned Scare Force’s lead to 60-14. For the rest of the half, the Whips barely altered the scoreboard, even with co-captain Styx N Stones administering some hurtful hits and MVP Nellie Fly making herself a wily obstacle for opponents. Jammers Deadly Lamarr, Marion Barrycuda, and Soledad all boosted Scare Force’s lead to end the half at 116-18.
While the Whips had hoped for a strong second half, they got off to a rough start, with Nasty Pelosi watching from the penalty box as Sharp Shredder sliced her way through the pack to score 15 during a powerjam. The Whips’ struggles against penalties and the fearsome defense of Scare Force blockers Chinese Cheker, Condoleezza Slice, Soledad, and Velocityraptor would continue throughout the bout. Shredder topped her previous scoring feat with 20 more, while Brutal Noodle converted some pastafarians during the day’s highest-scoring jam, a 25-pointer that sent Scare Force soaring to 209-18.
The Whips would only score once during the entire half: After leaving the box for the penalty that enabled Noodle’s scoring spree, Slam Grier broke the slump with five. But Scare Force wasn’t finished racking up the points: Marion Barrycuda’s teammates set her up for two more 15-pointers, while Scoriental Express chugged three times around the track for a matching 15. By the bout’s end, Scare Force was flying high, defeating the Whips 279-23.
Cherry Blossom Bombshells 214 – 52 DC DemonCats
By Special Correspondent Spank Erin
In the second bout of the night, the DC DemonCats took on the Cherry Blossom Bombshells in what the DemonCats hoped would be their first win for the season. But after taking lead jammer for most of the game for a string of successful hit-and-quit jams, the Bombshells continued their winning streak with a decisive victory of 214-52 over the ‘Cats.
Coming out strong in the first jam was the DemonCats’ Jersey Jill, who scored 10 unanswered points thanks to a rash of penalties called on the Bombshells, including jammer Lucky Penny. Their early momentum was soon thwarted as the Bombshells’ Penny and Yankee Scandal grabbed lead jammer over the next four jams and kept the Cats scoreless, 34-10. Jill and Mini Vandal managed to eke out seven more points for the DemonCats over the next two jams, thanks in part to a skate malfunction that took out Bombshell jammer Boom-Chica-Doom and also sent her to the box when she tried to make an illegal star pass to pivot Guantanamo Babe. The Bombshells weren’t to be frazzled, however, as they again kept the DemonCats scoreless over the next six jams, collectively earning 17 points and bringing the score to 66-17.
With a little more than eight minutes left in the first half, Jill managed a grand slam over the Bombshells’ Hook N’ SlasHer. But with Bombshell blocker Nubian Nemesis wreaking havoc on the track, a succession of hit-and-quit jams from Scandal, SlasHer and Penny allowed them to run up the score to 92-22. The DemonCats managed to end the half on a high note, with Jill earning three points to bring the score to 92-25.
The second half of the bout saw fast packs and plenty of box trips for both teams. The Bombshells passed the century mark at 106-33 in the first five minutes of the half, and held the ‘Cats scoreless over the next 10 jams while climbing to 162. The last five minutes of the game saw the Bombshells really run away with the score, with Penny and Scandal earning 25 and 18 points, respectively, bringing the score to 206-41. With 15 seconds in the game, the DemonCats called a timeout with the crowd eager for “one last jam.” The ‘Cats sent out the tireless Jill one last time against Bombshell newcomer Frightmare. Earning lead jammer, Jill gave the cheering crowd what they wanted, keeping the jam going until the clock wound down to seal the Bombshells’ victory at 214-52.
Sunday, March 18th sees the DC Rollergirls’ All-Stars skate in their first home bout of the year as they welcome the Queen City Roller Girls (Buffalo, NY). The other half of the Armory double-header involves a preview of the May championship bout as Scare Force One and the Cherry Blossom Bombshells face off. All the details are available on the DC Rollergirls website.
