This guy sells tap-ass at Jah-leo. Photo by andradeXcobain

If only every restaurant could have an American name and serve foods with American names, right? But they don’t, and that’s enough to provoke this week’s unintended overheard hilarity.

Overheard of the Week

On the Green Line after the Nats preseason game against the Red Sox. Two 30-something (obviously intoxicated) men standing in front of the train doors.

Man 1: Well if you’re hungry we can go to Jaleo (pronounced as Jah-Leo).

Man 2: Um, I think it’s called Jaleo (correct pronunciation).

Man 1: Whatever it’s called. They have tapas (pronounced tap-ass).

This week, we’ve got Capitol planking, a pain-ful lunch and precious innocence. As always, Overheard in D.C. relies on you to hear the good stuff and send it in to our special Overheard in D.C. email address. You could call it crowd-sourced, if you want to use some hip jargon. Make sure you also crowd-source us where, when, who and in what context though.

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You Can’t Live in the House of Representatives

Woman in her forties on the phone walking around Capitol Hill behind the Library of Congress:

“This stops now. You think the Republican party is gonna find you a place to live? Go ahead! Call them!”

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Capitol Planking

A mother is taking a picture of her three teenaged daughters sitting on the edge of the Capitol reflecting pool. As soon as she finishes, two of her daughters take off in the opposite direction.

Mom: Come on girls, this way (pointing towards the Capitol)
Girl 1: But Mom, I wanted to go plank!
Mom: You can plank anywhere, honey. It’s just lying down.
The girls giggle.

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Not as Bad as Tap-Ass, But C’mon

In the Ronald Reagan Building at lunchtime, a tourist walks by the recently opened Au Bon Pain.

“Why would anyone want to buy food from a place with the word ‘pain’ in the title?”

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We Won the Revolutionary War, Remember?

On the Orange Line during evening rush hour:

Girl 1: I go to a lot of Happy Hours. This week I have one for the Daughters of the American Revolution.

Girl 2: I love DAR Constitution Hall. It is so beautiful inside.

Girl 3: (speaking with slight accent): I have never been inside. It sounds wonderful!

Girl 1: You cannot come in. You are British.

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Combating Unemployment, One Campaign Worker at a Time

Tuesday evening, near a voting site at 3rd and Kennedy streets NW:

Group of four guys in their early 20s. Three are wearing green Muriel Bowser t-shirts. One says to man walking by:

“Hey! Vote for this b**ch! She gave us jobs!”

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Looking Forward to the Silver Line

Vienna-bound Orange Line train on Tuesday afternoon:

Metro conductor: This is Vienna-Fairfax station, the last stop on the Orange Line as far as we know.

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Innocence is Precious

Pulling into Pentagon station during rush hour, Metro driver announces Pentagon station.

Eight-year-old girl looking out the window, asks her father inquisitively: “What’s with all the army people?”

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Wrong End of D.C., But OK

Two twenty-something guys running in the Cherry Blossom 10-mile, around the tip of Hains Point, looking at Ft. McNair:

Guy 1: Whoa! What are those buildings over there?!
Guy 2: I’m not sure where we are. I think it’s American University.

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I Shall Name Him Bob

Wednesday lunchtime, in Dupont:

Person 1: “We should come up with names for the panhandlers around Dupont.”

Person 2: “I’m pretty sure they already have names.”