Someone at ABC News might want to bone up on their knowledge of whimpering indie pop. Or maybe just suffer through an episode of the loathsome Fox sitcom The New Girl. On Tuesday, in an attempted reading of a Marie Claire interview with manic pixie dream girl Zooey Deschanel, ABC News made the annoyingly spacey actress’ personal life way more interesting than it actually is.

Deschanel filed for divorce from husband Death Cab, throwing him over for Cutie frontman Ben Gibbard, in January. Deschanel and Cab were married for a little more than three years, and Deschanel said that, along with babies, dating was not a priority either.

Mr. Cab must be broken up. Probably strumming a Fender full of tears. Lucky for Ben Gibbard, who’s apparently now in a relationship with Zooey Deschanel. And he’s got a new band called Cutie?

Wait a sec? That can’t be right. Didn’t 23-year-old fauxhemians just spend months wallowing over Deschanel’s divorce from one Ben Gibbard, guitarist and singer for Death Cab for Cutie?

And though the article seems to be corrected in the version on ABC News’ main site, in the Yahoo! News version (they share content), it’s been like this since Tuesday.