Photo via @mayorvincegray

The District opened its newest public park Saturday morning at Seventh and N streets NW. For the ribbon-cutting, Mayor Vince Gray and members of the Shaw community were joined by McGruff, the only fictional detective more dog-eared than Law & Order‘s Lennie Briscoe.

This photo, we’re sure you’d agree, is sorely in need of a clever caption. Here’s a few to start:

>> “Careful, McGruff! There’s a Metrobus coming.“

>> “This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true—SQUIRREL!”

>> “Just because I have giant fabric paws doesn’t mean I can’t hold a pair of oversized novelty scissors.”

>> “I was told there would be bites to take out of crime.”

Give us your suggestions in the comments below. Best one wins a Milk-Bone.